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Grief and Grace

Updated: Aug 26, 2022

Grief and Grace


When many of us experience the death of someone we love, for the very first time, we are bombarded with so many emotional, physical and mental manifestations it becomes overwhelming. We find ourselves questioning our sanity. The many manifestations we experience are not new to us, however, what changes is the fact that we are feeling these things and never knew they were a part of grief. For most of us, our experience with grief is limited and we think only of extreme sadness.


We never knew that grief is a full-on assault of our faculties. Grief attacks our physical bodies, our mental bodies, our emotional bodies, our energy bodies and our spiritual bodies. These attacks can be full force and obvious or subtle and sneaky. Trust me, if you are grieving, you are or have experienced other manifestations of grief besides sadness.


Heart palpitations, body aches, headaches, inability to breath, leg cramps, tightness in the chest, clogged sinuses, tension, lack of appetite, cold hands, uncontrollable shaking, sleeplessness, agitation, easily angered, lack of desire, apathy, lethargy, inability to concentrate, no motivation or energy, heaviness in arms and legs, fear of the future, questioning faith, lack of trust or guilt may be some of the manifestations of grief that you become familiar with. These are the experiences that catch people off guard.


Grief is messy. Grief is unpredictable. Grief is complicated. When living with grief, grace is needed. Webster'

s dictionary defines grace as a temporary exemption. When looking at our own life we need to give ourselves some grace. You may have an idea as to what your life should look like, you may have expectations for yourself and feel like you are not measuring up. Give yourself a temporary exemption. You are learning to live with your grief. This is new for you. Your life has changed. Grace. You are exempt from “doing it right and perfect”. There is no room for perfection and there is no grief manual. You get a pass because you are trying to figure it out. You don’t have to have all the answers. You are allowed to feel all the emotions and shed all the tears. If your appetite isn’t what it used to be, that’s OK. You get an exemption from the normal life you used to live because that life has been radically altered due to the death of someone you love.


When I think of grace, I think of gentleness. Grief invites us to quiet ourselves, turn inward, examine our needs, and then with grace, grant ourselves permission to experience what we need, emotionally, physically, mentally, energetically and spiritually. Give yourself an exemption, whether it be temporary or permanent. Grace is granted when you are living with Grief In Life.


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