Every moment is a secret cache.
Every breathe is an offering.
And every increment of time is irreplaceable.
The only thing for which life offers even a fleeting guarantee
is this moment-right here and right now.
This is all we have, all we ever have.
It is both absolving and terrifying.
(Grieving Is Loving, Dr Cacciatore, PhD, p. 83)
After the death of a significant person, one that is loved, life becomes a bit more sacred. Death becomes a poignant reminder of the brevity of life.
We are reminded of the fact that time cannot be relived. Moments lived are gone forever, only to be recreated in the shadows of memory. We shift from the present tense and future tense thinking to reflective tense. Our gaze softens, our voice quivers as our throat constricts; we blink away the tears. We did not realize that what we were living, would be the last time.
We vow to foster a keener awareness of living in the moment. We vow to feel the sun on our faces, watch more sunsets and sunrises. We vow to have the difficult conversation, before it’s too late. We vow to hug our friends and tell them how we appreciate them. We vow to pay attention, soak it in, indulge in life and live to the fullest, we don’t want to miss it.
After the death of a significant person, one that is loved, life becomes a bit more holy. Death becomes a poignant reminder that this is the only life we have and we should live it to the fullest. We become grateful for the glory of each new day and thankful for the people with whom we share it.
Maybe the death of your significant person is fresh in your mind. For you, each day is a screaming reminder that much of your sacredness was shared with your loved one. They are a part of your identity. You did life together and you did it well. Plus, if you are honest with yourself, the thought of doing life without him or her is terrifying. Right now, life is too unfair to feel sacred. Right now, you are focusing on functioning moment by moment and hour by hour. Right now, the thought of making a vow to anything else seems like a compromise to the life you shared.
You could make one vow to yourself. Vow to be in awe of life. Be in awe of death. Be in awe of the life you shared with this special person.
Place your hands over your heart, close down your eyes, notice your breath freely flowing in and out. Feel the awe of love as you feel your heart beating. This moment is sacred, it is yours. This is being in awe of the Grief in Life.
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