Honoring our grief is one of the most important aspects of our lives. By honoring our grief we are honoring our loved one and honoring our relationship we have with that person. Notice I used have and not had. Our relationship and love does not end with death. Has it changed? Absolutely. But it does not end.
Honoring our grief begins when we learn to surrender to it. By surrendering to it I do not mean to give up. Surrendering means acknowledging it. It means realizing our emotion, naming it and feeling it. Surrendering means acknowledging that grief exists in our life. It means acknowledging that each moment, each day, each week, each month and each year will be different than the previous one. Surrendering means getting comfortable with our grief, waving the white flag and saying, "I am not going to fight against this anymore".
One way of honoring our grief is by creating a sacred space. This sacred space is a place where we go to be alone with our loved one. The purpose of this sacred space is to help us slow down, put the world out of our thoughts and just BE. In this space we focus on our relationship, our thoughts, our loss, our feelings, our tears, our guilt, our fears, our loved one and all we've learned. Whatever comes up is to be felt and not pushed away. We surrender.
This sacred space can be a physical place. A small end table works nice. On this table place a few items that hold special meaning, include a picture too. At the beginning of our sacred time, light a candle or incense, begin to diffuse essential oil or spritz your loved ones cologne or perfume. Then sit quietly. Surrender to what arises. Maybe this time will become the time of day that we allow ourselves to shed wild tears, maybe we journal, maybe we pray or acknowledge anger for what no longer is. Feel it. This is our time to freely feel it. Come back to this Sacred Space daily.
Each day, when sacred time ends, blow out the candle, snuff out the incense, or turn off the diffuser. Close our eyes, place our hands over our hearts and whisper, "Thank You".
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