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The I in Grief

Updated: Aug 26, 2022

A peak into the Grief In Life workbook:

Death has knocked me down and I can’t get up.

The funeral is over.

I’ve taken my bereavement days from work.

Everyone else has gone back to their normal lives.

Now What?

I feel like crap.

I cry all the time; my face feels puffy.

This hurts.

How do I cope?

What can I do?

No one understands.

They want me to get over it.

They want me to put it out of my mind.

They want me to go back to normal.

I want to COPE, but how?

Notice how the tense changes from “I” to “they” in the words written by a grieving person?

So much time in grief is spent on doing what “they” want to see and saying what “they” want to hear. We often neglect the “I” living the grief. Can you look at yourself in the mirror and ask, “What do I need? What do I want? What will soothe my soul?”.

The “I” is living the grief. The “I” is the one hurting. The “I” is the one that endures the long lonely evenings and wakes to the ever-quiet house each morning. Only the “I” can really understand the impact this death has left. The “I” never needs to apologize for the grief felt and displayed. Only the “I” knows.


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