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Twenty Minutes a Day

Updated: Aug 26, 2022

If you could devote 20 minutes a day to yourself, would you consider yourself worthy?

Of course, you are worthy of taking care of your needs, especially while living with grief in your life. Your grief is your own and you will be best equipped to know what those needs are at any given moment. Meeting those needs is self-care.

Last week I shared how important self-care is while you are living with grief in your life. This week I would like to continue with this theme and give you some actual practical examples of what self-care in grief may actually look like. There are five areas of your being that I would like to focus on. These areas are your physical body, energy body, emotional body, mental body and spiritual body.

Let’s start with the physical body. Self-care of the physical body could include something like a 20-minute warm bath. You might include an essential oil like lavender or peppermint. Taking a 20-minute walk or stroll. Giving yourself a 20-minute foot and leg massage can be very calming. Anything that promotes physical well being for you in the moment will benefit you. I suggest intentionally setting aside 20 minutes to devote to your physical needs.

The energy in your body and how you function is directly related to your breath, circulation and digestion. The energy is directed by your breath. One of the best ways of self-care of this area is to focus on your breath. I suggest taking 20 minutes and pay attention to your breathing. Is your breathing rapid, slow, erratic? Slowly draw your breath in, feel your abdomen expand, then slowy release your breath. Take deep breaths all the way down to your abdomen. By sitting quietly and paying attention to your breathing patterns you can cleanse and fuel your body. Your attention will become sharper. Clearer thinking will lessen the effects of grief brain.

The third area we are going to discuss is the emotional being. You were designed as an emotional being. You love to feel the emotions that bring you pleasure, but the ones that are low on the pleasure scale you tend to ignore or stifle. In grief self-care you want to feel these emotions by directing them to the surface. Can you take 20 minutes a day and journal or write about your emotions and what they felt like? You might include the things that triggered you to feel them. It’s hard to set aside specific time for you to feel. However, I suggest to truly allow yourself the time to truly be with the emotions you feel. Try not to ignore them.

Self-care of your mental body takes place when you tap into your intuition. When you “feel” you need something, pay attention to that feeling. Reading about grief, for 20 minutes a day will familiarize you with the broad scope of grief. You will be able to act on your “gut instinct” when you “feel” what you need at any given moment. Being creative with your hands will promote mental care. Creating art, baking cookies or rearranging furniture are all creative outlets that you might try.

Your spiritual body should not be neglected in grief self-care. Spending time in prayer or meditation, reading spiritual texts, doing something that benefits someone else as an act of kindness and sitting quietly are all avenues that you could devote 20 minutes of engagement.

There are many options and ideas accessible to you. There is not one thing that is better than any other idea. The main thing is that you intentionally set aside time each day to indulge yourself. Take time to make yourself and your needs a priority. You are worthy and deserve to give yourself whatever you need as you learn to live with grief in your life.


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