Delights In Grief
“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart and you will see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.” ~Kahil Gibran
Grief has become a part of your life. You have acknowledged your grief and have surrendered to the fact that it is here to stay. The raw harsh reality has begun to mellow into your everyday reality. You begin to relish the memories. You hold them dear and your grief becomes hallowed ground.
You may find yourself sitting on the couch some evening, the TV is on but you are not watching it, instead, you are staring blankly into nothing. You notice tears rolling down your cheeks at the same time you have a slight smile on your face. This catches you off guard. What were you thinking about? Your heart is heavy, you can feel it, but at the same time there is a glimmer of softness. You were thinking about your delight. Delight? Look again into your heart. It’s there, perhaps it is an inside joke, the sound of his laugh, the way she made you feel special, or the memory of the way the door banged when she got home. The delight is the little thing that made your relationship special, the something that only your loved one did.
My dad had this little cough. It was a slight clearing of his throat. It had a unique sound and I could pick it out in a crowd. Once in awhile I yearn to hear that cough again. It became one of the delights that brings a smile to my face when I catch myself missing him.
Your delight is the person that is gone from this earth, the one that loved you unconditionally and made you feel whole. Whether that person was a grandparent, parent, sibling, spouse, child or friend, he or she was a part of your life. That person and all of their nuances shared life with you, you have history. It is in the shared history where you will find the meaning, memories and delights.
Maybe your grief is new, raw and painful, be kind to yourself. Be gentle with yourself, weep when you feel like it. When you are sorrowful, place your hands over your heart, close your eyes, and breath. There will come a time when you will notice that as the tears roll down your cheeks, the corners of your mouth will upturn at the same time. As you look into your heart you will realize you are indeed weeping for that which was your delight.
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