Sa Ta Na Ma

Sa Ta Na Ma, a mantra paired with a mudra that becomes a mediation that I learned in yoga class.

This meditation honors the cycles and rhythms of life. The honored cycles are as basic as the rhythm of breath or as grand as the changing seasons. No matter the cycle being honored, all have four things in common, a beginning, a duration, an ending, and a pause. Then, it repeats.

Comparing the meditation to the seasons; Sa represents the spring and beginning. Ta represents the summer and growth. Na represents autumn and death. And finally, Ma represents winter and a time to pause and rest before the cycle repeats.

As a daughter who has experienced the death of her mother, I find myself in the Ma. I am in the pause. I am dormant, waiting and wondering what the next phase of daughterhood will be like for me. I am a daughter without a mother that walks the earth.

My Sa took place 64 years ago when I was birthed into this world by my mother. She was there through my Ta, life. She guided me, taught me and nurtured me. These years were full of love, contentment, disappointment, prayer, tears, laughter, victories and defeats. My mom was there, watching, willing to listen and give advice when warranted. Ta is where the lessons were learned and where the legacy was passed on. The Na is death, transformation. My transformation began as I witnessed this vital engaging woman, my mom, experiencing her own Na. She accepted the rhythm. She felt herself slipping away from the present. In her own quiet way she stepped through the veil between here and there. She experienced transformation. I experienced death. The daughterhood I lived and knew died that day.

I am in that space of silence and darkness. The space where I search my soul and ponder the legacy. My Ma is a space of wonder and mystery, it is a space of questioning and watching. Metamorphosis is happening. Ma, the pause before my birth. It is here where I wait. It is here in the darkness of grief where I pause. It is here, Ma, where I prepare to emerge into my fullness, a different woman.

Sa Ta Na Ma. Honor the cycles and rhythms. Sa Ta Na Ma.