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Declaration of Empowerment

Updated: Aug 26, 2022


Empowerment – the process of becoming stronger and more confident. Empowerment in grief arises when you choose how to live with your grief. The choice is yours. Your grief is your own and not to be compared to any grief belonging to others. This puts you in control. You could not control the death event or timetable in which death invited you into grief. However, you can control how you will interact with this grief in your life. You get to be in charge of how you will BE in your grief. You cannot control the grief, but you get a say in how you will live it.


You get to choose your support. Books, articles, blogs, advice columns, family, friends and random people will be quick to offer “help”. Trial and error will become your guide. You will glean the helpful information and discard the rest. You choose who will be your support network. Becoming stronger takes time. Learning what works for you will grow your confidence. You will become empowered as you say “yes” to what helps you and “no thank you” to what does not.


Alan Wolfelt suggests writing a declaration to yourself. This declaration reminds you of the rights you have during your grief. I like to think of the items on my personal declaration as “Non-negotiable” items that will not be compromised in my grief. Allow me to share my declaration with you.

I Choose To:

1. Be present with my grief. I will feel my grief and know that it will change.

2. Get messy with my grief.

3. Honor my grief. It is real and I will not pretend it doesn’t exist.

4. Release perfection. My grief doesn’t fit into a schedule, stage or timeframe.

5. Be gentle with myself

6. Develop my own coping skills because no one else’s grief is like mine.

7. Decline any advice, situation or idea that doesn’t serve me or my grief.


If you have a desire to become stronger, more confident and more resilient in your grief, I invite you to

to put pen to paper and create your own Declaration. Keep it handy and review it daily. Or, you can choose to say “no thank you”. Each and every step you take will bring you closer to feeling empowered as you live with Grief in Life.


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