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Updated: Aug 26, 2022

Even though grief is a common occurrence and each of us will face it in our lives, it is deeply personal. Because our grief is deeply personal, it can be extremely lonely. We find ourselves in the depth of darkness that few people are willing to experience. Our friends don’t really understand even though they say they do. Society doesn’t have the patience for our malaise. Our employer expects performance. Family desires us to be the person we were before the death occurred. We begin to believe we are doing grief “wrong” and should be over it by now. We are often forced to live our grief alone.

Our emotions, feelings and desires have gone unmet because we have ignored them more than we have lived them. We have denied ourselves the chance to live and experience our grief because we have been too concerned with being seen as the strong courageous one. Our nerves are stressed and our bodies feel like they may explode. We are on edge. We keep denying and ignoring.

You are not alone.

There are two books I would recommend. One is Bearing the Unbearable. The other is Grieving Is Loving. Both books are written by Dr Johanne Cacciatore, PhD. Dr Cacciatore is a grieved mother, a counselor to traumatically bereaved people, associate professor at Arizona University. She supports parents who have experienced the death of their children through the MISS Foundation. She also runs Selah CareFarm. The first book is divided into fifty-two short chapters each discussing ways in which grief can open our hearts to compassion and connection. The second book is a smaller book. It contains some quotations from Bearing the Unbearable. Other quotes are from people who have been touched by grief. This book is a book that you can pick up and read one or two quotes or ideas and feel validated in your grief. This book is good if concentrating on long paragraphs is difficult.

Both of these books will help you realize that your grief is normal. You will be uplifted and heartened. You will gain insight into the humanness of grief. Either of these books will be beneficial as you continue to live with Grief in Life.


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